The All New 1 To 10 Question

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much would you like to have a series of ever-more refreshing drinks in this pub?

My Favourite Pub

Is definitely, definitely The Montpelier on Choumert Road. Like most of the pubs in SE London, it's been taken over and done up recently. But it hasn't quite turned into a standard gastropub - there's still a waft of the old pub it used to be that hasn't quite been bleached out and I like that.

Anyway, I had a little mid-week birthday bash in there the other night and they were so good, it was quite heart-warming. We went in the week before and Scrap had a very good fishcake and chips while I made a plan with the manager: whatever food I wanted, whatever booze I wanted, no minimum spend, no set price per head, we agreed a figure and that was that. On the night, our area was set aside, the candles were lit, the glasses were lined up on the bar-top, we had hand-cut chips, dips, chorzio and ciabatta, big salads and a fabulous chocolate tart made by the chef. And they let Robert bring in a surprise cake from my favourite baker and the house Prosecco was top drawer. It was just lovely and I give The Montpelier full marks for customer care. The fact it is directly across the road from my studio is an added bonus.

Herne Of The Century

So, we finally made it to The Herne Tavern for lunch and it was just fantastic. Our friend Chris says we're too easily pleased, but that's just not true when it comes to lunch (or, indeed, dinner. Or breakfast, actually). But how was it good, you ask? Well:

1. We had a really nice table properly set for four adults and three children waiting for us.
2. Our order was taken within five minutes.
3. The children's food - organic cumberland sausage and thin-cut chips, hello East Dulwich! - arrived in the blink of an eye.
4. Silvana couldn't decide what wine she wanted, so they poured her a taste of a couple to try.
5. Our lunch turned up soon after and it was delicious. Crispy, fluffy spuds, thick cut, pink roast beef, great crunchy, towering yorkshire puds, sweet carrots and crunchy beans. Great gravy. Fresh horseradish. We sat and enjoyed every mouthful in an air of blissful, unhurried calm thanks to
6. The garden. It's a proper sandpit, slides, things to climb on, trees to squeeze around belter. Scrap, Lily and Olivia spent the majority of the afternoon running around barefoot and only returning for an ice-cream or a drink of water.
7. After our main course we wanted to move outside, so all our stuff was moved and we enjoyed pudding and cheese and coffee (which was very good coffee, too) in the sunshine.
8. You can't smoke anywhere in the building. Well, I gave up a week ago today, so I'm all for this kind of thing (*makes punchibly smarmy face*).
9. It was £120 for seven people and everyone had everything they could have possibly hoped for (and more).
10. I gave up counting after nine.

Lily's dad Steve said he'd like to have all his weekend meals here from Saturday breakfast to Sunday tea and I can see his point. If you have small children and have gobbled down too many lunches in an attempt to get everyone sorted before the shouting and moaning thrashing about start (don't you hate trying to get another mouthful in while paying the bill and putting someone's coat on?), come here.

If you don't, go somewhere else because you'll not like it at all. It's a playground with a fantastic pub attached. Isn't that just the best idea you've ever heard?

Brindisa

Myriam's visiting from Switzerland (for a Dolly Parton concert at the weekend) so we met up at Borough Market last night. I was early but at just 6 o'clock Brindisa was already completely packed. I put my name down for the next table of four (an hour and a half!) and went off to The George with my newspaper to wait for the others. I really like having a drink on my own while waiting, just one – that half hour of absolute peace.
Anyway, Brindisa was very nice but I don’t think worth the eventual two hours we waited or the £110 bill. Very nice but not spectacular, the £9 ham plate was miniscule and the spinach tortilla was straight from the fridge. But we had a lovely night and the Padron peppers, cava and sherry and the waiters were all great. Definitely want to go to Spain for our holiday soon and in the meantime need more trips to South Lambeth Road for Estrella and Rebato's

An Agreeable Day Out With The Bees

The Bees: Love In The Harbour (Virgin, 2007)

I went to the Isle Of Wight yesterday with The Bees. They were excellent fellows, Bee-man Paul even picked us up in Portsmouth - in his Lexus, no less - and drove us all the way to Ventnor. Which, I'm pleased to say, is about the nicest place on earth.

The picture above was taken while we had lunch - scampi, naturally - on the terrace of the very marvelous Spyglass Inn. We wore t-shirts and had to hide a bit from the sun. Yes in March. Amazing.



Later we went to their house which is up the hill from the bay. That's it above. It is pretty much every man's dream house. BBQ and football in the garden. Records, DVDs and exotic tobacco in the front room. Enormously well equipped recording studio in the basement. That's Warren Bee coming out of the door, but you can ignore the bloke on the phone to the right - that's not a Bee, that's their press officer, Coyne-O. He texted me later to tell me how he and the photographer had missed the last ferry. I assume this is because the band took them to this fantastic little pub called The Lobster (& Something) which is directly across the road from their gaff.

I, more sensibly, went home in time to catch not only the catamanran back to Portsmouth, but also the below. Bye bye Bees. Thank you for having me.

Rye Hotel? I say no, no, no

When we got woken up at 6am this morning, the sun was already shining so brightly that we all had a quick bowl of cornflakes, pulled on our wellies and headed out to Dulwich Woods. It was fantastically muddy and we came back filthy and rosy-cheeked. We stripped off in front of the washing machine and Scrap went straight back to bed for an hour and a half while we read the papers and listened to the radio. Did you hear Andy Kershaw on Desert Island Discs? I really loved him. And all of his record choices. It's repeated on Friday at 9am, if you missed him.

Then we went to the Rye Hotel to meet our friends Liz and Steve and their two girls Lily and Ollie. Really, we wanted to go to the Herne Tavern which I've heard very good things about but when Liz called to book on Monday, it was already fully-booked for today! It must be good. Which to be honest, is more than can be said for the Rye Hotel. It was very far from good in fact it was very poor. To start with the whole garden was fenced off because the grass was being treated. Yes, on a Sunday afternoon. So we sat under the gloomy marquee beside a gas heater even though it was a brilliantly sunny day outside. The house wine was rough. The food was shocking. Where do I start? We all had the Sunday lunch roast chicken. You know, I think I'm quite easy to please but they obviously roasted off a ton of chicken leg portions at 10 in the morning, so by the time we got them, they were dry and flabby-skinned. The potatoes had definitely not been roasted from fresh, in fact I'd put money on them coming from a bag in the freezer, they were hard on the inside and soggy and greasy on the outside. The veg was limp and very greasy and the whole thing was cold. It was bad and it cost us £45 per couple. Waste of money, waste of calories, waste of all our time. We were so fed up we decided to get out as quickly as we could and went in search of cake.

The only place I know that actually serves proper home-made cake is Petitout on Choumert Road. We all sat outside in the sunshine, chose from three different types of fresh, light and buttery cake and had great milky, frothy coffees. On the way to the little park down the road for a game of footie, the kids each got a new book from the Review book shop on the corner, Scrap chose Igor, The Bird Who Couldn't Sing by Satoshi Kitamura and Liz and I went nuts and bought a dress each in Fenton Walsh. We all went home skint but happy. Rye Hotel? No, no, no!

I don’t want chips anymore

Me and Jenny are going out on Lordship Lane tonight. We plan to have a lovely time drinking large glasses of chilled white wine and eating chunky chips and garlic mayonnaise in The Bishop. I like the Bishop very much, they're always friendly in there and you get a good choice of home-made food at any time of day. None of the, "oh, the kitchen doesn't open until six" or "get that child out of here it is six o'clock!" that you get in the Rye Hotel. So, no, don't take your child in the Rye for an early weekend supper, they'll kick him out just as they start serving food.
Anyway, our other best friend, Angela, would usually be with us but unfortunately the magazine she works for, quite last minute, has gone and sent her to Italy to write a food and travel piece. They have also commissioned her photographer husband to go along and take the pictures. She has just texted me this picture of herself and this message “In Portofino and just had trofie al pesto Going to next town now to get big gelato will send pic. Love ya. A x”
Don't work too hard, Sweetheart, will you!!!

Anchor and Hope

I met Angela in the Anchor and Hope on The Cut for a quick lunch today. I sat in the bar (just across from the actor Rhys Ifans - he's very handsome close-up you know) and read the brilliant book that Sally and James bought me for my birthday Tuesdays with Morrie while I waited. It's one of those books that makes you feel happy about life - it's making me like my husband and wish for another baby. Anyway, we both chose crab on toast and shared a fresh, beautifully dressed leaf salad and new potatoes. Fantastic!

Old Nun's Head

Can't keep away from Nunhead this week. Especially this place. The Old Nun's Head has stood derelict for as long as we've lived round here. It has a great story - it was built in the 30s on the site of an old convent. For some reason the Mother Superior was executed and her head displayed on the green beside the pub, which is where the district of Nunhead gets its name. Anyway, those nice people from The Gowlet , just round the corner, have recently done it up very nicely despite the fact it is still haunted...

Last Saturday we were invited to a 3rd birthday party in the function room upstairs and had great fun with the The Tickle Monster. And tonight I was in again to join celebrations for my friend Angela's birthday. It's warm, friendly and wood panelled. The bar staff smile and the menu is fine, if a bit limited. We had a lovely time with Prosecco, bruschetta and home-cut chips. Detox definitely starts in the morning!