I’ve been having trouble getting to sleep lately. I lie there in the dark watching rubbish films like Stigmata and Femme Fatale on Channel 5 as Robert’s snoring rattles the window panes.So, I thought, I’ll go on the internet and get some nice, soothing teas, called ‘Sleepy Time’ or something like that. Only instead of that I found, this, the most exciting tea on earth! Pu Erh it is called. Speeds up the metabolism and makes you lose loads of weight, apparently. Drink it with your meal and it gets rid of all the fat in your dinner whilst lowering your blood pressure and cholesterol levels. Smells like a farmyard and keeps you wide awake when you should be fast asleep but still, small price to pay!
Tonight I will be watching Main Khiladi Tu Anari, an action film staring Shilpa Shetty, Channel 4, 12.25.
Any sleep / snoring remedies gratefully received.
13 comments:
How DARE you suggest I snore! On a public forum!
*is furious*
You do! Drives me crazy!@! I am going to record it tonight and post it on the blog for everyone to hear!
*leaves home*
Snoring is a man's perogative.
Get used to it and stop whinging.
We have a system in our house, Antoinette goes to bed half an hour before me, so when I go up, she is already asleep, and my snoring doesn't bother her.
I even get accused of snoring when I am not even asleep!!
Silvana,
The best advice I ever got is not to lie worrying about it. I find reading helps (and or a bath), it acts a transitory activtiy from awake to drowsy. Is mint tea too stimulating? There's always Ovaltine to fend off "night starvation". The obvious cure is to watch something you REALLY want to see as within 5 minutes you'll be spark out!
A gentle prod usually does the trick.
He said gentle, my darling...
that tea reminds me of an old cry I heard once from a drug dealer at Glastonbury "lose some weight - take some sulphate!"
A couple of pints of Old Speckled Hen?
No?
How about breathing exercises? Conecentate on taking a short breath in, then a really long breath out. Works quite well.
Failing that, asking someone close to you to give you a talk on "Vinyl I have loved" ?
snoring? cut his head off, it's the kindest way.
Lettuce is a good sedative I hear. Plus you munching on an iceberg or two will keep Rob awake so voila....you solve the snoring problem too!
Failing that, sew a tennis ball into the item of clothing he wears to bed.....it's supposed to make the snorer wake up everytime they roll over onto it. I have several sewn into David's night attire and, if rolling on them fails to wake him up, then ripping them out of the material and pelting him with them generally works quite well.
good luck!!!
Hahahaha! Fantastic solutions, thank you!
Warm milk and honey is a good sedative. Milk on its own is good, but the honey adds to its sleep-inducing qualities.
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