The 4 Best Seasons Of All Time: 1 Autumn

Sunday October 12, Sydenham Hill Wood, 10:15am.

Valentine Warner's Plum Crumble

I've been hearing a lot of good things about BBC2 new boy Valentine Warner lately and one of our lunch guests even requested his plum crumble for pudding yesterday. I watched him make it here and got the recipe here. The filling was nice enough but a bit straightforward so I livened it up with some creme de cassis, a couple of star anise and some plump blackberries but the topping itself was spot on. I must start watching the series!

New Music Friday

Extrawelt: Homing (Cocoon Recordings, 2008)
I get sent a lot of electronic music, most of which I try to listen to and a lot of which just leaves me a bit, ahem, cold. I've done my time in the electronic dungeon and, to be honest, I'm quite happy up here with the beard-wearers these days, but this is a bit good. Extrawelt are two blokes from Germany and their record is, literally, quite nice. This track is even more than quite nice tho', it makes me want to stand in a dark room, very late at night, feeling tremendously woozy and I don't often get that feeling anymore. Thank you Extra chaps.

An Old Record With A Secret Message

Johnnie Temple: Lead Pencil Blues (Vocalion, 1935)
I like this song - and the album it comes from - very much. But I don't claim to actually understand it...

The Cure: New Album News

As you can see from this stunning montage it's called 4:13 Dream and - here's the professional bit - it's really, really good. If I didn't mind the idea of going to prison for a long time I'd post The Only One which is, literally, the Greatest Pop Song Ever Written. But it's out soon anyway, so who could ask for more?

EDIT: Amazing!

This New Record Is Literally Quite Good

Avrocar: Soft Lightning (Make Mine Music, 2008)
I should probably point out that that isn't what the band Avrocar look like, that would be silly, wouldn't it? No, that's an actual Avrocar, a device which was intended to exploit the Coandă effect to provide lift and thrust from a single "turborotor" blowing exhaust out the rim (we've all been there, right?). No, this Avrocar are some English chaps who love Kraftwerk and My Bloody Valentine and Nick Drake and are - oh yes! - signed to the same label as Epic45 and July Skies. The album is rather nice too...

Bun Fight News

Yes, it rained and yes, it was windy but the people of Pecs didn't let us down. This year's Bun Fight was a triumph. We had veg sculptures galore including daleks make from peppers, miniature farms with broccoli trees, teeny, tiny rainbow carrots, elegant savarine ring cakes loaded with fresh fruit, toffee apple cup cakes and Charlie Fox with his award winning Victoria sponge. Sadly, Scrap didn't win anything with his 'horror' biscuits but he did come second in the vegetable hat parade with his Robin Hood hat of sugarsnaps to no 1, Loveday and her spectacular 'cavolo nero and radish crown' !

"Hello? Landcroft House..."

"Hello Landcroft House, it's Patti Smith here..."
"Hello Patti Smith, how are you?"
"Oh, I'm fine thanks! I've, like, got a new film coming out and stuff..."
"Great. Erm, you know what? While you're on the line, could I ask you something?"
"Sure, go ahead..."
"Tell me, what’s the greatest record ever made?"
"Oh God that is the hardest question I’ve ever been asked. That is terrible! Oh God, where do you even start? Oh… I’m thinking. Well, I very much liked Ascenscion by John Coltrane. I could go anywhere with that. But I’m not going to choose that one. It’s probably My Bloody Valentine’s Loveless – because it has everything in it. Which is what I was going to say about Coltrane. The best record ever made has changed a lot during my life! At one point it would have been Blonde On Blonde, then it would have been Coltrane’s My Favorite Things, then Ascenscion, then Electric Ladyland, it needs to be a record that has so many different feels, some visceral emotional experience, great lyrics. Actually, you know what, it’s James Brown’s Live At The Apollo! That’s an incredible experience. A great record should let you lose yourself and engage yourself. You can lose yourself and dance through the whole record. Loveless is like that too. It’s like entering into a new world, like Alice In Wonderland! Actually, today, it’s not James Brown. We’re pushing him aside again. It’s Loveless – I’ll keep that one. Sorry that took so long – it’s such a hard question!"
"No problem. Thanks Patti."
"No biggie, thanks LH..."
click...

The Bellenden Bunfight

This year's competition is now taking place over the whole weekend.

THIS WEEKEND!
Saturday is the Horticultural Show with categories for giant veg, mini veg, vegetable sculptures, miniature gardens and the grand Vegetable Hat Parade!

Sunday is the Cookery Competition with categories including classic Victoria sponge, cakes, tarts, cookies & biscuits and preserves.

The are special categories for children plus brilliant prizes, including a years subscription to Delicious Magazine, dinner for two at Ganapati and an outstanding Best in Show award donated by the East Duwlich Deli.

Kick off is 10am at Review Bookshop. All proceeds raised will be donated to a local charity. I am likley to be one of the judges and I'll make sure you win, so see you there, with your hats on!

An Important Message To Pop Groups

The Scud Mountain Boys: Reservoir (Chunk, 1995)
I once wrote to The Scud Mountain Boys to tell them how much I liked their Television single. They wrote back to tell me how nice it was to get a letter from 3000 miles away (and some other stuff I can't remember). That's the sort of thing we used to do before the internet. Anyway, we've had some new shelves put up in the bedroom - they're lovely, thanks - and I found this down the back (FYI: it wasn't actually this - it was the original Chunk pressing out of Easthampton, MA, but you can't buy that "no more") and I still think, 'What nice chaps they are...'. A lesson there, I think, for all pop groups. Keep us sweet or, you never know, we may go elsewhere...

Things You Find In The Basement While You're Looking For Something Else: 3

The Polyphonic Spree: Days Like This Keep Me Warm (Good Records, 2001)
It had been an odd sort of day anyway, and then, last night, I found myself rooting around in the basement looking for a cake tin. Under a dusty colander there was a box with a load of old drum and bass singles in it and under that, I found this. I remember when my friend Billy first tipped me off to the Spree. They had such an amazing look and such a powerful, uplifting vibe about them that it seemed like everyone who came into contact with them came away feeling a little better about almost everything. I certainly did a year or two later when the now defunct X-Ray magazine sent me to Dallas to interview main Spree chap Tim (we stayed here and my room over-looked where JFK was shot, though, to be fair, I think all Dallas hotel rooms over-look where JFK was shot). Tim was a truly inspiring guy who had a wife and young kids and a record shop and this huge band to look after, but took time out to take me and their press officer (my old mate Lewis, now Elbow's representative on earth) and X-Ray's photographer to his favourite Mexican restaurant for lunch then drive us around a string of fantastic thrift stores and, finally, out for a long evening of cold beer drinking. What a chap. What a band. Of course, when they came back with their second album the British press went, 'Well, we've already done this lot!' and the wheels began to come off. But my love is still strong...

Lunch News

Coq-au-Vin at the all new and improved Alpino on Chapel Market. Literally, delicious and only a fiver. The Italian couple who run the place appear to be two of the happiest people in the known world. Bless them...

New Music Friday

M9: Paintbrush (Dark Matter Records, 2008)
The first time I heard this track - about an hour ago - I thought, "Jesus, this is a bit good" then played it again. Then again. Then I played the rest of the album and, oh Jesus, that's really good too. I was finding it hard to decide between this and two other tracks (Soldierz and Dark Matter), but decided to go for this as, I feel, the humble paintbrush has seen no love whatsoever from hip hop to date and, frankly, it's time for a change. Anyway, M9 is from Shepherd's Bush and he has clearly spent a lot of time chewing on the end of a pencil waiting for inspiration to strike and not a moment has been wasted as his lyrical skillz - excuse me, near 40-year-old coming through - are quite startling. As are those of Cyrus Malachi and Masikah who also appear here. Nice Wu-ish beats too... *orders another Lady Grey*

He also performs well as a public speaker...

This Old Record Is Quite Nice

Henry Mancini: Return To Paradise (RCA, 1957)
I've been playing this album every single morning for about three weeks now. Rain, grey or bright sunshine it sets the day up perfectly being, in turns, a bit odd and discretely adventurous, but never less than dizzingly melodic. This track in particular is gently amazing in ways that it's just not possible to be anymore. How can you make music that suggests the silky push and pull of waves on a half-dreamed of exotic shoreline in an age where, should the mood take you, you can just pull it up on Google Earth (or flickr) to see if it's really that nice?

Ickworth House

Landcroft House is just back from a long weekend away to celebrate my 'special' birthday.

Ickworth House is one of those family friendly hotels and it really lived up to its promise. It's the East wing of a stately home so the building itself is fabulous as are the grounds. There are bikes, games, trampolines, a spa, an amazing swimming pool in a stable, early tea for kids and listening service and smart dinner for grown ups.

We could have spent the week in Portugal for the same sum and Scrap's manners let us down at the breakfast table once he'd got his hands on the 'bowful of fun' that are Cocoa Pops but what a lovely weekend!

My New Prawn Brooch

I got this for my birthday.
It came from here.
I am going to wear it every day.

Something Else I Found In The Basement

Michael Brook: Diffusing (4AD, 1994)
One of the greatest gigs I have ever seen was Brooksie* playing at London Zoo's aquarium to help launch his album, Cobalt Blue. In fact, the gig was so good it was later released on CD in its own right. Happy times, eh? Can you imagine a record label releasing a live CD of a guy playing his own launch party now? No, me neither. This track isn't from that (I lent it to someone about 8 years ago and never got it back, oh dear), it's taken from a 4AD promo called All Virgos Are Mad which featured a load of tracks recorded at the label's 13th birthday shows in LA. I used to have a nice t-shirt of said event which I wore every third or fourth day for about six years. But I've no idea where it is now - perhaps that's in the basement too?

*No one calls him "Brooksie", not even me.

Things You Find In The Basement While You're Looking For Something Else: 1

Studio Pressure: Relics (Natural Mystic mix) (Certificate 18, 1996)
I went down to the basement looking for a book and found a pile of CDs in a small, rather dusty looking box. There were some horrible old mix CDs in there and a pile of risible magazines (some of which I used to work for), but this caught my eye. Studio Pressure is Photek by another name. When I was still working in the record shop, Photek got signed to Virgin for, we were led to believe, £800,000. I wonder how that's working out for him... Anyway, this is a properly wonderful slice of mid-90s "intelligent" drum and bass that just happened to be on my friend Paul's label. Hope you're well, Mr A.

French Catalan Tuesday

Pascal Comelade: Stranger In Paradigm (Because Music, 2008)
He's quite a chap, our Pascal. He formed his first band in 1974 and has, ever since, been ploughing along making music equally influenced by toy instruments and what electronic music was called before it was called electronica (and other stuff). Anyway, Stranger In Paradigm (he gives very good title, does Pascal, another track on the album - a poem in fact - is called The Lonely Skinhead) sounds a bit like The Shadows might do after a full-on nuclear strike. Something to look forward to there. There is also a toy xylophone cover of Sunny Afternoon on the forthcoming Best Of album (The No Dancing - it doesn't exist on the internet yet, out November 17) that is properly lovely.

Literally, hurray.

The Most Alien Place On Earth...

... is, apparently, Socotra in the Indian Ocean. I stole the picture from here where, if you feel the urge, you'll find a great article about the island (I want to go now).

Professional Gig Review: Bon Iver

Bon Iver played a concert in London last night. They (Bon Iver are a band now, donchaknow) were, literally, quite good. In fact, I'd go so far to say that they were, y'know, better than that. They played all the songs very well, including, to my mind, the best one. I enjoyed the nice bit where everyone* sang along and shouted a bit. They covered Talk Talk's Spirit Of Eden - great moment - and they played a new song which was so full of wall-shakingly anthemic Coldplayisms that, were I their A&R person I would be ordering the king shrimp and cocktails now and waiting for the money to come rolling in. Because it will. People love this band in a quite remarkable way.

*Everyone apart from me. I have my hack pride. Hence standing at the very back sipping mineral water and tapping the side of my "glass" instead of actually clapping (despite thinking it was all rather good). Btw, I am available for all photography jobs...

This New Record Is Literally Quite Good

HMS Ginafore & King Creosote: Quarter Inch (Fence, 2008)
And still the great Fence records keep coming. HMS Ginafore is Jennifer Gordon, assistant curator of the Anstruther Fisheries Museum which, to these ears, sounds like one of the all-time great jobs of all time. Anyway, this record is very brief - less than two minutes, stopwatch owners - and very, very lovely. If you can make out what HMS G is singing then, please, let me know. I get, "There is not one quarter inch of you I would not wish to charm..." then it all gets a bit misty. But that's OK - I kind of like misty. Anyway - this wonderful album is out in November. It doesn't exist on the intersquizz yet, but check here for "news"...

Momentarily Diverting Polish Movie Posters From, Largely, The 1980s

This one is for War Games. This one is vastly more interesting and intriguing than the movie it set out to advertise, while this one is as odd and unsettling as the film.

Lots more here...

The Best Restaurant in London

According to Gary Rhodes, for Indian food it's The Painted Heron. In fact he likes it so much, he takes his wife and kids there every other Saturday night! 

Anyone been?

Who Fancies A Night Out?

Is This The Worst Comic Strip Ever?

Well, these people think it is and I, for one, am in no mood to argue. I've read every single one of these I can get my hands (eyes) on and have yet to feel even the tiniest flicker of electrical pleasure crossing my eager synapses. This, in a perverse kind of way, makes me like them more. You reach a sort of Zen relaxation point after your fourth or fifth strip where not much seems to matter anymore and the sun scoots almost imperceptibly across the sky. Sometimes it's really good to engage with stuff that demands nothing of you whatsoever, don't you think ("Yes," say all regular LH "readers")?

Hello Old Thing, Hello New Thing: 37

Gilberto Gil: Procissão (Phillips, 1968)
There aren't many people who could argue that, as an entire package, they're a lot cooler than Gilberto Gil. A long-term musical and political activist, his late 60's work was thought of as so inflammatory that it got him thrown in prison by Brazil's then military government. He was, until recently the country's Minister For Culture. That's progress, right? Anyhoo, this absolute belter of psychedelic, tropicalian, sambatic loveliness was originally to be found here, but it's now here for a very reasonable price. Stuffed full of uh-mazing choons too...


Hollowbody: Chains (Sleeping Horse, 2008)
I opened my post this morning and there was a hand-written postcard from this chap Dan Weltman who records as Hollowbody. Now, I'm a complete sucker when it comes to hand-written notes, so I whacked this straight on and, oh dear, it's really, really good. Weltman has a fantastically easy sort of voice, like he's not hugely bothered if you're listening or not, and he swings in and around the tune with a real charm. He plays that guitar nicely too. So, a good package then. Thanks for the CD Dan. Good luck with it all...

Tiger Beer Singapore Chilli Crab Festival

Landcroft House is leaving SE22 for a few hours this weekend to go to this.
See you by the chilli crab stand, about midday?

Children's Chocolate Party Cake

One of the mums at Scrap's nursery organised a leavers' party this weekend. It was held in a lovely sports pavillion and while the nice girls quietly joined in with the juggler and his plate spinning, all the grubby boys spent their time running the full length of the fields, only legging it back when he started fire-eating.
Anyway, I made the cakes - some little fairies and a very basic chocolate sponge made to look exciting with curly wurlies and rolos.Serves 20
6 eggs
300g caster sugar
275g self raising four
25g good cocoa
300g softened butter
FOR THE ICING
180g dark chocolate, melted and cooled
250g butter, softened
280g icing sugar
chocolates: minstrels, buttons, planets, maltesers etc

Mix together the cake ingredients with an electric whisk until pale and fluffy. Divide between two lined, 23cm, loose-bottomed tins and bake at 180C for 20 minutes or so until risen and just set. Leave to cool.

Beat together the chocolate, butter and icing sugar. Use a quarter of it to sandwich the cakes together then spread the rest up the sides and over the top. Scatter the chocolates on top and leave to set.

Crispy Onion Bhajis

Last night’s dinner had an Indian theme. The main course was a Lamb Shank Dhansak, roughly based on an old Nigella Lawson stew recipe and for starters, hot little onion bhajis with raita and chutneys. After turning the house upside down looking for the scrap of paper with my ancient recipe on it, I ended up following the one on the side of the Natco Gram Flour bag. And they were great. Eat them as soon as they come out of the pan.

Makes about 24
2 large onions, thinly sliced
1 tbsp roughly chopped coriander leaves
2 green chilles, seeded and thinly sliced
1 tsp cumin seeds
1 tsp salt
½ tsp hot chilli powder
1 -2 teacups gram flour
¼ tsp bicarbonate of soda
lemon wedges, to serve

Heat a few centimeters of sunflower oil in a wok.

Mix together the onions, coriander, chillies, cumin, salt, chilli, gram flour and bicarb, making sure the onions are well coated. Stir in some cold water to make a thick batter then leave to rest for 5 minutes or so until the oil is hot enough.

Drop small spoonfuls into the pan (I cooked mine in batches of 4 and put them straight onto the table where they disappeared just as the next batch was ready) – and cook until crisp and golden - they should take about 3 minutes, if they’re taking longer, let the oil get a bit hotter to ensure they cook crisply. Drain on kitchen paper and serve with wedges of lemon.

Heartbreak Rap: It's The Future

Jack Flash: Intoxicating (Klinik Records, 2008)
I have now listened to this six times on the trot ("But the bad nights kept coming, and she was changing, and that's when my heart started breaking...") and I'm not even nearly done with it yet. This works on all the important levels: the samples are beautifully simple and layered, the lyrics are eye-wateringly personal and there's even a sing-a-long chorus to warble on the bus. Jack is from Huddersfield and seems like a decent sort of cove. There's a lot more JF stuff here. Excellent work that man (even if it is about "pot" and not The Ladies).

Oh Dear Me, This Is Good

Rokia Traoré: Kounandi (Nonesuch, 2008)
I've been carrying this CD around in my bag for about a month, attracted by the name and the label. I always thought it would be, y'know, interesting, but I never actually expected it to this good. And, honestly, this is really, really good. If you like this track - and I can't for a moment think of a reason why you wouldn't - you will like the whole record. Which is great. Did I mention that already?

Hang On A Minute, This Is A Bit Good

Tony Christie: Danger Is A Woman In Love (Autonomy Music, 2008)
I have, officially, forgotten about Amarillo. Taken from Christie's truly, truly brilliant new, Richard Hawley produced album, Made In Sheffield, ... Woman In Love is top-drawer croonology founded on the mathematical thoery that Bond-theme drama plus crinkly-eyed wisdom multiplied by a great big aching heart can only ever produce good work. I should mention at this point that the album includes a version of Human League's Louise that is so good it's actually a bit terrifying.

Foul Mouthed Fun

Miracles can happen - a viral ad that is, literally, really funny. And, hello, here's another one...

Hello Old Thing, Hello New Thing: 36

Steinski: Jazz (Tommy Boy promo, 1998)
Originally planned as a tribute remix of Afrika Bambaata's Jazzy Sensation, Steinski - and pal Double D (who got back together after ten years for this, reunion fans) - basically rebuilt the whole thing from the ground up and produced this cut 'n' paste masterpiece. But then, Steinski is the original go-to guy for cut 'n' paste masterpieces, so perhaps that's not too much of a surprise. Whatever - much more Steinski business on this brilliant compilation.


Peter Broderick: Games (Bella Union, 2008)
If there was a users guide to getting yourself deeply nestled in my good books then describing your music as "Acoustic / Folk / Classical" on your Myspace, um, thing would appear at the very top of the first page. Broderick's only 21 and recently moved from his home town of Portland to Copenhagen so he can join his Danish heroes Efterklang. Well, that's the sort of thing you can do when you have youth on your side, isn't it? Anyway, Games is so lovely it makes my legs ache (or maybe they already were aching, I can't remember), it is a little bit Arvo Part and a little bit Fleet Foxes and, frankly, that's good enough for me. Great album too...

Great Ideas That Never Caught On: 1

Sankey's Patented Chilled Beer Vendor

Hang On A Minute, This Sounds Familiar

Denise LaSalle: Fool Me Good (ABC, 1977)
I just can't put my finger on it, but this excellent Denise LaSalle track sounds oddly familiar.

This New Record Is Literally Quite Good

Damien Jurado: Everything Trying (Secretly Canadian, 2008)
Jurado is one of those chaps that's been banging away - sometimes like an outhouse door in the wind, yes - for some time. And, in doing so, every now and again he drops a belter. And this is that belter. Taken - wholesale - from his new album, Caught In The Trees, this is more than a little bit lovely. "I'm be sailing on your deep blue eyes," he croons, as cellos and pianos swell like a lover's heart. This is the stuff, Jurado - more of the same please.

I Am A Very Lucky Person

It's always a pleasure going through the post when you get back from holiday (very hot, lovely, thanks), especially when it appears to be from an old friend. For some reason my email program considered the following to be spam:

FROM: Jose Padilla III
Dear Winner,
Winning Notification. This is to notify you that you have won £250,000.00 in our online email lottery in which e-mail addresses are picked randomly by computerised balloting, powered by the Internet. Your email address was one of the lucky winners
in this year bonnanza draw.

To claim your prize, please contact: The UKNL Foundation, claims department
Contact Person: Mr.Brender Williams
Contact Email: prizeclaimsdept_uklott@hotmail.co.uk
Office Tel :07045 764 423
Sincerely, MR PADILLA, JOSE


Mad, eh? It clearly isn't! I'm particularly pleased as Jose Padilla - the Ibizan DJ "legend", not the dirty bomber - once threated me with a lawsuit over a review I wrote of one of his awful, witless records. I wish I still had the messages he left on my answerphone asking me why I would write such things about him and how I didn't "understand" his "work". "If you don't call me back to resolve this I'll sue!" he squeaked in his silly little voice. Happy times! Anyway, it seems all the old niggles have been ironed out and I will be claiming my prize from "Brender" (I love those old English names!) in the morning...

Landcroft House Is On Holiday

We're off - see you in a week!

Summer Berry Tart For Tonight's Tea

Got a thing for baking at the moment. Sorry. I'll make this the last sweet thing for a while. It's very very easy to make and I think it's going to taste nice.

Serves 6 - 8
375g sweet shortcrust pastry
50g dark chocolate
300g custard
200g creme fraiche
1 - 2 tbsp icing sugar
berries

Preheat the oven to 180 / Gas 4. Use the pastry to line a 20cm fluted tart tin. Prick the base, line with greaseproof and fill with baking beans, bake for 20 minutes then remove the beans and cook for a further 10 or so minutes until light brown. leave to cool.

Melt the chocolate and brush the inside of the pastry case with it. Leave to set - this will 'waterproof' the inside and stop it going soggy.

Mix together the custard and creme fraiche and sweeten a little with the icing sugar. Spoon into the case then scatter over some berries. Chill until ready to eat.

The Streets New Album: Oh Dear Me It's Good

It's called Everything Is Borrowed and it's out on September 15. Anyway, as with all Streets albums, I start out thinking I don't like it at all and then I realise that, actually, it's bloody great. This one appears to be about, hello!, mortality and life and death and family and all that caper. There are tunes a plenty, but right now I'm a wee bit obsessed with The Escapist and Heaven For The Weather. But there'll be others. Nice concept with the promo sleeves too - "borrowing" old ones and, like, recycling them. Hurray. I can't post anything on account of I'd be murdered in my bed if I did. But I will when I can (probably).

EDIT: Escapist video...